Stand Up Comedy: Kevin Hart

Too funny to caption

Just finished watching this and getting ready for bed, so that’s my excuse for not giving this the praise it deserves. I love recommending comedians to people but could never really find a way to sell Kevin Hart after he did Soul Plane(how could anyone not like it?!). He’s hilarious and short! I think I might’ve have worn out my laugh box.

Now I know my taste in music and movies is questionable(“I’m gonna sign your pitty on the runny kine”) but please, for love of Ha!, pretend I didn’t mention Petula Clarke and Aly & Aj. Watch all the stand up I post, pinkie swear it’ll only be the best. Eeee I’m sleepyyy.

Stuff I Used To Watch And Definitely Don’t Now…Really: Ernie and Bert – Dance Myself to Sleep and Fractured Fairy Tales – Hansel and Gretel

Got some partners I can count on called the Boogie Woogie sheep (Christ, I just got that pun) I dance myself to sleep

Damn, how cute are those sheep!

I remember this as one of my all time favourite Ernie and Bert bits and was worried watching it now would ruin it. Thank Sheep, it was just as good as I remembered it, may even better. I don’t have a lot to say when I love something so I’ll just enjoy the dancing sheep and shut up.

-Get to sleep before I rock you to sleep -With a real rock? -Yes

Well what can I say, Fractured Fairy Tales is brilliant,  go watch a couple.

Songs That Make Me Smile: LL Cool J – Doin’ it

(I kid you not, this face was once considered the essence of sexiness) I guarantee shorty it's real, baby stick it out Here comes the man of steel

I was taking a hobble down Memory Lane with mehhh(who’s supposed to be contributing to this blog!!!!! Not that mind or notice or anything) when we bought up this old gem. It doesn’t make me smile in bubble-pop song kinda way. Watching the vid makes me cringe(those 90s spandex and the dancing, oh lord, THE DANCING!) except the peep show bits but hell, that’s what makes it great. This is a good example of why I love old school hip-hop. The beats, corny/dirty vids, crooning girls and vain rappers(that’ll do LL, that’ll do) all make for a good time.

Best Parts To Rap Wigga Out To:

It's the first time together and I'm feeling kinda horny
Conventional methods of makin love kinda bore me
I wanna knock your block off, get my rocks off
Blow your socks off make sure your G spots soft

Best Bits To Moan:

I'm gonna call you Big Daddy and scream your name
Matter fact I can't wait for your candy rain (heh)

                                    and

Don’t Stop

 

It’s pretty sad an old LL track seems like Shakespeare compared to the crap we have today(more video hoes and Christal!!).  Anyway, I’m in a good mood so I’ll leave a bonus vid. Enjoy!

Now THIS is pure sex. My love of drag queens knows no bounds.

Songs That Make Me Smile: CSS - Off The Hook

People talk but I can't hear, I'm off the hook

This isn’t my favourite CSS song, but it’s the one I find myself singing along to when I’m having a crappy day. I said have no expectations, well I lied, expect more CSS.

Best Parts to Howl:

Off the hook (Auuuuuuuh)
Off the hook
I THINK I’M OFF THE HOOK, BABY
OFF THE HOOK

Songs That Make Me Smile: The Spinners - Rubberband Man

How much of this stuff do he think we can stand, So much rhythm, grace and debonair from one man

No explanation needed.

Best Parts to Howl:

Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo

Independence Day

Moved today. I’ve already cleaned, unpacked and had an imaginary house warming party. Blanche Devereaux kept asking Caesar to come on over and toss her salad,  Jesus did his famous water to wine trick but spilt some on the tablecloth. Lady Macbeth, not wanting to be outdone by Jesus decided to repeatedly scream, “Out damn spot!” to remove the stain. Ann Frank, confused by all the commotion,  mistook Charlie Chaplin for Hitler and pelted him with sausages. Freud told anyone who would listen that Ann throwing sausages at Chaplin symbolised her rejection of the male sex and sausage….which made everyone throw cigars at him(“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”). All in all not a bad evening. Better go clean up the sausage before the Flying Nun gets here.

Love Fears a Lover

Now don't get too excited, the blog’s title is just a line from a haiku that I liked, don’t expect anything particularly deep or thought provoking. As a matter of a fact, don’t expect anything. That way you won’t be too disappointed when a well researched post about atom smashers is followed by a post about the colour, texture and temperature of my snot when I’m sick. If you want good writing, go read Keats. Here you’ll get tidbits about my day, reviews of books and movies (“Worst piece of sh!t I’ve ever seen.”, “Boor-ring!” or “Made me want to rip my hair out.”), lists of things I like and a life changing piece about the importance of eyelids. Like a cherry salmon smoothie, Love Fears a Lover is an acquired taste. Give it try, you might get used to it, maybe even like it!